So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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