She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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