Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
