your room smells of hookers.
And success
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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