"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i think my tv is drunk
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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