I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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