grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he laminated a picture of his dick.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I will be naked everywhere
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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