Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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