my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We left the knife in your bed.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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