It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
