put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
