wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
