I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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