I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
