He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just invented taco cereal.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
