well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
