I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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