The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
