Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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