I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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