Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
