we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
