i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
