guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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