Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
