dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There's always time for handjobs
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
