When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
