he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
