I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
