Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
