Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
