4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
