Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
