I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
