I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
