It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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