I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
what is it with giant penises always finding me
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
there is another microwave in the elevator.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
