i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
