operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
