Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
