I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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