I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
