We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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