Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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