sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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