i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
