I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
And then my night got REAL pukey
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
