Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
