I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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