Betty ford says i'm here all night
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
