Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
