I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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