is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
