At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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