A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
