I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
