Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
