:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
