Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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