as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize