There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
