Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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