you turned your livingroom into a bong?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
