well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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