Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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